The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
The only problem is i have violated all potential new years resolutions at the new years party.
I was giving him head and when I deep throated him he screamed out "Ohh, top ten!"
Listening to her yell about my drinking problem is not helping my hangover.
Excuse me by sucking dick i am fighting crime. Just think of all the prostitues going out of business and getting real jobs.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
Uhh, there's a legit bruise on my boob.. Again how does he manage this
Tell me you didn't really piss in the hookah.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
So random question. Does beer act the same as other alcohol disinfectants?
He plays guitar, sings like an angel, and acts like a gentleman. If I don't fuck him by the end of first semester, I'm dropping out
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I was so high I kept trying to flush the toilet with the light switch
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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