is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
I love the moment a guy admits defeat against the front clasping bra.
Gave the kid in the wheelchair at the bus stop a beer and proceede to lift him on the bus. porch drinking brings out the best in everyone
its coolsest when we hear the beat in our water bottles. and the likghts are in his eyes now. oh holland
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
If I end up married to you I better get lots of orgasms to help me forget I failed at life.
I would compare it to a jeffrey but in smoothie form. More drugs in here than Bobby Brown's sock drawer.
I pretended I didn't remember seeing him hookup with that freshman, and he pretended he didn't remember seeing me hookup with that old guy. We have a beautiful and unawkward friendship.
we probably should not get naked in my neighbor's garage again. just sayin
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
He put oyster crackers in his ramen noodles. Is that a thing? Because holy shit I had never thought of it before and if it's not a thing he's my new stoner hero for discovering it.
well when I said that I would ride his face until he ran out of oxygen, that's when I knew I shouldn't be around beautiful people anymore.
I no longer need a flask. I need a canteen.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
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