We're facebook friends in real life
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
i hooked up with some kid with a broken arm and he wouldnt even let me sign his cast
We tried to make a sex tape, but we were hammered and she forgot to take the cap off the camera. Somebody starts snoring 10 minutes in.
I definitely paid for a case and a fifth and all I got was 6 beers and a crown and coke. Wtf. Bar math sucks
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
Sorry I can't go bowling with you guys. I'm getting daytime dick. That's the best kind.
She came to class yesterday wearing a shirt saying Maybe Partying Will Help. Showed up to class today and puked three times.
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
You told her you double majored in Geology and Telekinesis. When has that line ever worked for you?
"We hooked up and in the morning he emailed me his mix tape"
That went from 0 to lesbian orgy much faster than expected...
I have a dinner date combo blowjob event with Tristan tonight.
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