You know your creepy when you look at recently tagged facebook photos of girls you want to hook up with and they include prom pictures
Haha so you are never gonna want to meet my mom now...she just found your thong in her front seat
hes so high that he's convinced hes a duck. hes squating in the bathtub quacking. that was NOT JUST pot.
im gonna make a bucket list just so i can cross off "underwater blowjob"
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Well THAT'S the last time I buy beer and baby wipes in the same Walmart run ... just wanted to shout I USE THEM TO REMOVE MY MAKEUP, YOU ASSHOLES
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Thought about you all night last night, then I fucked the shit out of my boyfriend. Win win for me.
I told people at my moms bar that all I needed to sober up was to get my asshole licked, and I blame you 110%.
Wake up. Eat bread. Find your dignity. Don't be late for work again.
His dick is a spiritual experience and meditation is very important to me.
When Dad gets to your house, ask him about the sound of anal beads. Happy Thanksgiving!
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
