I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
it was like that last scene in "It's A Wonderful Life" but with alcohol
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
Dude, I found out having naked people in your car is a felony.. Now were all fucked.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
its 2pm. u awake yet?
ill text u back later. still peeling fingernail polish off my face.
He told me he was married and then fingered me on the kitchen counter. It was awkward to explaining the broken toaster to my roommates this morning...
I never thought that at some point in my life I would end up in the back of a cop car dressed as Pumba #HakunaMatata
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
She referred to my balls as rotund and handsome
I'm twenty nine years old, now is not the time to start trying new drugs. I need a hedge fund...not another drug-induced hangover.
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
it’s about to be september and all i keep thinking is what if i go (another) full calendar year without having sex?
Randomize