I just met lou reed's venus in furs. Her hands are slippery.
There comes a time in every man's life where he has to shit in a catbox to prove a point.
we had sex three times last night.. but now im just wet from him crying on my stomach about how much he misses his ex.. awesome
well i did drunkenly flip his snowmobile going 90, so i can kind of see why hes mad
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Nothing says never again like hurling in the shower.
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
There is an alarming amount of urine in here.
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I made a nest in his bed. I'm not leaving
I got copblocked.
What?
Cockblocked. By a cop. Copblocked.
some kid just came up 2 me bleeding yelling "thats how u riot"
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
Randomize
