Spotted: jayne dropping her cigarettes in a puddle...then picking them back up and putting them in her pocket. If i ever get that desperate, stop talking to me
It's just like soggy cereal, but cancerous
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I was carrying him baywatch style into my place because he passed out.
Dude, didn't you know? Its balls out wednesday.
I have got to stop making out with redheads. I need to sign my life over to my dad like Britney Spears.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
Come over. I'll eat you out and we'll make bacon.
best text I've received ever.
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
we had a full conversation and he only brought up drugs twice. overall I'd call it a success
Dude what is wrong with me. I'm like a strong independent woman and shit.
I just found those cheese sticks in my purse. Along with a handful of confetti.
I used to sleep with a guy on the USA rugby team... He stole my credit card and my Hitman DVD. I'm more upset about the Hitman DVD..
1st date with cop went weird. He yelled at me & we had a horrible date. Walking to the car I tripped & started bleeding & then he made out with me. Is it wrong that I want to see him again?
THIS IS WHY YOU NEED THERAPY!
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