when does round two start
I don't know, I gave up bartenders for lent
i don't know how to normally transition into sexual activities without being drunk...
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
I appreciate the offer. Swallowing pride is much like swallowing cum, difficult and unpleasant
the party we were at had security guards carrying paintball guns. that probably should have been the first sign
I'm in the room..It's full of lost souls and sadness. I can taste the salt of their tears. This final might take a few freshman today..
Bathtub guy came to. He helped me roll the fat chick away from the fridge. Shower and breakfast are on. You're plan failed!
It felt like Party Santa dropped by and gave us two more 18-packs.
Ummm, my mojito just spilled on 2 essays as I'm grading. Who says high schoolers have all the fun?
I will sleep with anyone I have to to make sure you don't get deported
I have bruises from doing the splits on the poles, if that doesn't scream bourbon street regret then I don't know what does
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
He makes balloon animals that get you high? Hell yeah invite him over!
Chili is not acceptable fuck buddy food.
Randomize
