Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
i can't tell if you're serious or not, but 420 is gonna be pirate themed
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
Not sure. We'll pass out on that bridge when we stumble to it.
I've woken up in some weird places in my lifetime, but never in a tent in my own garage.
I don't think he knows what shame means anymore. He gave some bar slut his sisters Tiffanys necklace, in exchange for anal.
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
I think you handled your pregnancy scares better than that cricket in your bathroom
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
I woke up at her place in a kids bed hearing Sesame Street. She doesn't have kids!
Also. Picked being late to work over the maid finding my vibrator. Life choices....
Look don't ask questions just know that one thing led to another and I have a shot glass stuck in my ass. I need your help!!!
Randomize