My wife says its no good to have oral sex during pregnancy. So i guess pregnancy is like regular life.
Welp...herpes.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
i can't wait to kiss dudes with my vampire teeth in.
Just told him about my threesome. if that doesn't make him want to date me nothing will.
I just saw a dude sitting IN a bush, weeping and playing a harmonica. I hope your day is going better than his.
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
That's the saddest description of touching yourself I've heard since someone said "I was just lazily rubbing my clitoris while eating Cheetos alone"
I don't really want to have sex with him, I'd just want him in a threesome. Does that make sense?
Side note: the physics of a guy my size and age getting laid in the backseat of a Toyota Camry are absolutely staggering
Ugh it's 2016, why can't our bodies just shed fat on their own
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
I didn’t say it was classy, I said it was sexy
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