I’m once again drinking at eight am on a Sunday in my tutu. This garment is literally my best purchase ever.
Just did a shot to pluto being a planet again. I love science.
okay, prove you're not drunk to me. write 5 true sentences about me with correct grammar.
I am sober. Because I don't drunk. It is bad. People die. I like Domenico because o he bag women what up?
its simple. when his lips are on my clitoris i want to marry him. when they are speaking i want to kill him.
im in class. still drunk. wearing one sock. eating a breakfast sandwich and trying to make sure this bottle of whiskey doesnt fall out of my purse in front of my professor
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
it was surprisingly calming to be rocked to sleep by his roommate humping on the bottom bunk
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
i'm taking a spore imprint of the mushroom we found growing in our bathroom and sending a picture to ryan. he will then be able to tell if it's trip-worthy
This is the high leading the old right now
Dude you ate toast sprawled out on my kitchen floor and said "this is comfy". No more day drinking.
Want to get drunk and look at an xray of my dick?
Dude, if I don't end up wearing a banana suit in Milwaukee, I will consider that trip a complete failure.
I chatted up the pastor's son on Grindr during the service. Still ridiculing my decision to go to church this morning?
I stole the butter cup cuz i brought home my rolls and chicken and didnt want the butter everywhere. I miss your body because its amazing.
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