It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
no, i dont want the owner to like me bc i dedazzled my vagina
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
You were mumbling a lot and offered me 20 dollars to leave you alone
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Daquari drive throughs 24 hours a day. LORD HAVE MERCY
judging from the number of limes and box of kosher salt on the counter therell be 8.5 gallons of tequila drunk this weekend.
sounds about right
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
I think we r still a few steps from ex sex. In fact, that's never going to happen. I'm just saying on the seething-chemical-fire-of-emotional-distress-to-post -relationship-intercourse scale, I'm closer to fucking than throttling. Progress is fun.
I started a USA chant at the bar last night for no reason, other than being plastered. Within 15 seconds, I was standing on a table and the whole bar was chanting but nobody knew why.
It will be interesting
Isn't that your life's motto?
I refuse to be socially acceptable any longer than what is needed to pick up chinese food.
we're having rib night followed by a cultural enlightenment party
whats a cultural enlightenment party
we eat nachos and drink margaritas and tequila till we pass out
You should of known that i was high if i refer to myself as melting into anything
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
Randomize
