my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
id pay someone 5 dollars to tell me whos house im at right now. comfy couch though
I thought you'd have died of alcohol poisoning years ago! How'd you get my number?
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Sun* burn. But that sounds like wait.. Midsentence thought... It would be like swimming in a giant bowl of cereal.. Only I would be cereal. This is brilliant.
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
They set the pop up pool in the basement-running filter and all. Drunk swimming. Come now.
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
Correction... Drunk on winter break. There are no days of the week on break.
I guess I can give it a shot. I usually just get belligerently drunk and go where my penis and feet lead me. No fights or getting too lost, so they seem to be doing a good job
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Someone brought brownies to work and I was skeptical to eat one then I remembered I was at work and there is no way there is weed in them. Haha I'm blaming you for that.
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
1 why did you tell them where i peed last night and 2 where the fuck are you
Randomize
