maybe after you take off her top her face will be hotter
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
Just registered some guy for opium withdrawals. WTF opium withdrawals, who does opium anymore.
I didn't wanna be that girl that took a shit in the ocean..
he busted in while i was showering looked at me and said "youve lost weight bro, no homo" and started puking into the sink
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
Steve is gonna hang his bear rug on the wall because he doesn't trust us not to have sex on it...
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Okay. This morning the comforter was wet, you were underwearless and using a tiny blanket. What'd you do??
No ambien sex tonight. I just ate two hotdogs with chilli and onions.
I'm in jersey with marbles.. He's blasted about to fuck a manatee and his entire family is trying to stop it. His mother punched me in the chest for not trying hard enough
I would definitely ride that dick into the sunset if nuggets are involved
I am still worried she'll have a seizure durring. What would I do? Try to ride it out and finish, or pull out and assist?
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
Randomize
