The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Yea, forget your mom. She will be home after her one night stand.
I wish I only lived at night.
well look at the bright side
maybe you can be on an episode of "I Didn't Know I Was Pregnant"
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
I imagine the nuva ring like a bug zapper. It just kills them all.
she played "i just wanna get married" by jagged edge while we were having sex. why cant i avoid stage 5 clingers
Someone just asked if you were the one who rode around the bar on some girls back
Hey wes just called me saying he was asleep outside by the pond at my apt complex
My google searches from last night: tetanus shot rabbit bite, Bacardi gluten free
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
Haha I haven't even had my interview yet and I'm already trying to fuck my way to the top. 'Merica.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
As I read your response saying I need a tan before I can become a go-go dancer, a girl cane up to work and gave me 10 coupons for 100 days of tanning for a dollar.
This is fate. You were destined to be a stripper.
You very well can't change your mind now. It would upset the natural flow of life.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
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