I think I took your hangover as a birthday present
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
WTF?! TAYLOR SWIFT JUST WON ARTIST OF THE YEAR OVER MICHAEL JACKSON?! WHAT IS THIS WORLD COMING TO?!
finally achieved: got laid in the religion section of borders. thought you should know.
You now know someone who has just successfully talked his way out of being arrested for breaking into the town library at midnight. Ive been home for too long.
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
I am one Jewel song away from suicide watch
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
Just remembered when I first started going down on him he goes "ok now I feel a little better about the broncos losing"
I needed to bring way more fireball to class to match this professors intensity
Considering who their parents are, maybe you should use vodka for the baptism.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
Randomize
