it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
drunk at some random house party. come get me. i thought i pulled my dick out to go piss... it was my left nut. im soaked.
I just got a ticket for the snow penis we made in our front yard.
theres always time to masturbate. my grandpa taught me that.
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Apparently he always goes for the wrong girl so it should be easy for me to nail him.
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
He held back my hair as I puked, then kindly asked me to slightly move my head over and pissed right next to my face.
Is it possible to rally from a drunken seizure?
I just fully woke up, never smoking that much weed again. I had stress dreams about your house being surrounded by a lake and we kept losing our cars in it.
Am I a bad person for getting my ex to DD me and a random hookup home last night?
Randomize
