We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
I just pooped in his toilet and didn't flush...I desperately need to get him past the girls don't poop phase.
Did I tell you I had a charge show up for $36 on a credit card I haven't used in 6 months from Wild Wings? It was that night we slept across the street from the bar.
We all have our weaknesses that drive us crazy. We happen to have one in common, 21 year olds. Your secrets safe. Touch his penis.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
Ideas for halloween. We need simple yet hilarious. Cheap yet effective. Slutty yet acceptable. Go.
The only image of you you know is from reflections or pictures. Its 2d. But what other people see is 3d. How do you know that's your real face! MIND.BLOWN.
I'm wearing green eyeshadow so even if I end up totally naked I still won't get pinched.
Did you drink ALL that 151??
No. We drank all the jaeger... Then used the 151 to start the fire. We're also out of paper towels... And your hairspray is flammable.
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
Jager makes that raccoon appear... The one that shits in a basket in my living room.
SHE MASTURBATED TO THE THOUGHT OF ME HAVING AN ALL DUDE THREESOME WITH HER EX BOYFRIENDS.
This will never work. His dick is smaller than mine.
Wow. And yours is kind of small.
RIGHT?
My life is in shambles. Just made a grilled cheese in the microwave on a hot dog bun
OMG also, I'm sorry I tased you a lil
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