I couldnt decide if i wanted to pee first or vomit. So i Peed sideways while throwing up into the tub.
so we started it doggy style, but since we were really drunk kinda fell to the side and turned into a 'lazy dog'... my new favorite position btw
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Watching Fresh Prince at 9am with a beer in hand and he just said to Uncle Phil "Sometimes I worry that I'll never get my life together." I feel like that was a sign from above or something
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I just look @ having a child spit on you as another form of birth control. I think my ovaries just tied themselves in a knot.
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Mostly i might never get belligerent again because im gonna have to keep track of a diamond ring.
Eat, nap, & pace yourself. Words to live by.
Just got up.... With the club stamp on my ass.... How did it got there????
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
i should probably stop doing things just because i think they’re funny. i’m not going to.
Randomize
