I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
Is it bad that I voted for Scott Brown because I want to fuck him?
Nah. I did too.
WHOA. WHOA. WTF. WHOA. TOO HIGH FOR HIM TO BE ENGAGED RIGHT NOW.
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I just had to MC for a middle school event with jizz on my dress. I'm going to hell.
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
I could barely talk to the cabbie and I was text bombing everyone. They need to make an auto timer app to prevent people like me from belligerent late night harrassing. And I was seeing double... Prob would have tried to give your leg a bj and then fallen down the stairs.
You know what? I bet HE would do stormtrooper roleplay with me. I'm in.
I'll be thirty in eight months. I think my goal is too stop changing my pants in the parking lot at work by then.
Who suggested the eggnog wet t-shirt contest last night like whose idea was that
Speaking
HE STARTED HUMMING THE THEME TO STAR WARS!! WHILE I'M SUCKING HIS DICK!!
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i have paint on my face i'm missing my earrings, there's a bag of rice in my room, and i have a purse full of monopoly pieces
Jesus fucking Mary Christ if I have to clean shit out of my fucking bathtub one more fucking time I'm gonna murder a fucking kitten
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