hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
she texted him the burrito order while she was puking in the Del Taco parking lot...
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
My mom would probably be ok with my lifestyle as long as she doesn't see that photo of me doing bong rips in a Jesus costume.
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
She's laying here with her head in my lap stoned, eating Doritos, whining about her boyfriend, and listening to Cher. Fuck the friend zone.
every Thursday i draw one of my friends names out of a hat to choose who i will drunkenly text all weekend
You were naked too, so it cancels out. We're straight.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
I'm currently sitting beside my brother who is taking a bath and feeding him nachos while he covers his genitals. If that's not sibling bonding then I don't know what is
best way to lose double chin? blow jobs. I am fucking hurting.
Dude I think the cat just licked the coke plate
I gave you chlamydia, you gave me a concussion. Now we're even.
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
Randomize
