I just saw a girl in Albersons in spandex and curlers buying PBR. Only PBR.
Ever had blood in your semen? I am guessing that's a problem.
i had to wake up at 4 am to do my laundry because I was afraid if I saw people in the laundry room they would judge me by the amount of clothes I had covered in vomit from syllabus week
Thanks for coming to the hospital with me, In return, I will buy you ecstasy.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
I just found out via Facebook that my old dorm room is now the free condom distribution room on campus...IT'S LIKE THE UNIVERSE KNOWS!
I have a high opinion of you, you smash bitches. Respect.
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
I woke up and there was a mans ass as my screensaver...
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
When are your genitals available?
Well he offered to lick my asshole so...I'm not really worried about his interest level.
You were filing your nipples with a nail file to "make them sharper"
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