I enjoy that i have a whole shelf of clothes that I've accumulated from random sex. You know the ones you get to make the morning after look less awkward like similar to an athletes trophy shelf
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
i'm going through the NYU 2014 group looking for future drunken hookups. too slutty?
I wrote and sealed my mom's mothers day card last night while intoxicated.. should i put it in the maibox
without a question
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
I think he's on the stoner protein diet. I just saw him, at 3 am, spreading mayo on a slice of deli ham and sprinkling salt on top.
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
The one thing I know about living in Vegas is the closest I'll ever come to being a father is singing the theme song from Full House to a garbage can while I eat an entire birthday cake.
Dude... You called me at 3am to tell me you still had your pants.
All I vaguely remember from last night is getting up on that nice mahogany table and debating about squirrel's rights
I got my dick out in a gay bar for just one free shot. I didn't know I could be bought so cheap
yeah that bottle of rum is only the second thing I want that kid to be pulling out of his pants
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
so I think we need to change lawn care services...the guy woke me up by the pool while I was naked...told me he already picked up all the beer cans for us and gave me his number for the next time we party...
Randomize
