no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
i thought to myself 'what a productive day'. then i realized all ive done is one load of laundry and shaved my balls.
I woke up wearing nothing but his lifeguard whistle..
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
Umm... How do I tell my roommate someone shot a speargun through the wall? On a side note, cliff shot a speargun for the first time.
My Grandma made me promise not to drink more beer, so I'm chugging wine.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I remember us getting kicked out of the bar, but neither of us know why. We woke up next to chicken bones on a plate with spoons, and my car has mud all over it including places where feet shouldn't be, like the speakers on the car door.
Please can we have sex in this office for old times sake
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
Do you think the hole in the ceiling will count against our security deposit?
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