Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
that cunt stole my fb status. SHE'S NOT THAT FUNNY
Just saw a girl in a wheelchair puke then rally. Diversity matters.
This threesome is so guaranteed that dinner feels like a charade
i kept drunkenly begging people i met to be in my facebook mafia
Just bought lingerie with the intention of wearing it as a shirt. It's going to be that kind of weekend.
She put up a picture of her grandmother on facebook, looks like the lazy eye runs in the family
YOU DID DRUGS AFTER A THREESOME WHO ARE YOU TO JUDGE ME?!!?
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
You can either drink his whiskey or be a bitch. Doing both is just mean.
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
Randomize
