So he thought it would be a nice gesture to show me his list of girls he fucked. There was 70. We then went through and put "V"'s next to all the ones that were virgins...
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
nothing like celebrating the fact that you're not a father by trying to impregnate other women
how can i incorporate a boy scout uniform into what i do tonight?
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
next photo in the 'cherished memories' series- Jess's bed. Note the vomit actually UNDER the pillows. shes a genius.
Almost there.
define "almost". like I have enough time to watch a youtube video or oh shit, put on some goddamn pants because they're in the driveway.
I found us a new booze connection and I'm writing college admissions essays. The future is bright.
There is a guy in class using a wine bottle as a water bottle. Welcome to the Faculty of Environment.
Honestly I am too high to watch videos of you jerking off right now
Is there a hallmark card for "could you please slide the FUCK out of my DMs"....?
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Randomize