I think I'm going to go home and read The Bible.
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
I fear hooking up with people who have white pillowcases because my guyliner always smears on it and i either have to A. sneak out in the night or B. wash it and see them again
Played the LOTR drinking game last night. Ended up in boxers running thru the lot at ross's place screaming "for frodo"
I hid a 6pack in the microwave for later
I knew I liked you
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
A shark bit my leg in the Gulf of Mexico well me and the T were banging so look for it in the papers
YOUR STATE IS STUPID
Did you miss a turn again?
WHAT FUCKING IDIOT DECIDED TO DESIGN AN ENTIRE FUCKING STATE WHERE YOU CAN'T MAKE A FUCKING LEFT TURN?!? FUCK NEW JERSEY
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
I've been eaten out in coupes, sedans, trucks, suv's, you name it. If I can do it in a smart car, you can do it in a vw beetle.
I knew you were the expert on doing it in public. You need to get paid for your advise
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