Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
his status popped up and said 'probably going to jail.' it took everything i had not to press the like button
Just passed on a threesome. I'm too old for that kind of morning after.
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Still butthurt there's a framed picture of me passed out on the toilet in my grandparents' living room
Sexual Frustration City, population: Me.
I just tried to give a picture of a dude a blowjob. through my computer screen. I was leaning forward with my mouth open and everything so WALK AWAY
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
I told him I was gunna have sex with him in both of our cars at the same time.
I have a gay crossdressing neighbor that's dresses up as a slutty pirate. 6 beers from now I would have hit on him. I hate halloween.
I partied with 2 slutty ninja turtles from Sweden last night, I Love Halloween.
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Randomize
