This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
the 24 hour champagne diet aint going so well
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
More or less binge drinking as a giant grape seemed justified
I just had a vision of confetti exploding out of someone's vagina to the sound of air horns... I think that would be welcoming.
I like the way you think.
He is gay. There is no bi when you have a manhunt AND you are an art major. That's like a unicorn without a horn, it just isn't possible.
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
Well, I found the missing blow... in my fucking suitcase... THIS MORNING. Yeah, I flew from FL to NY with blow in my suitcase yesterday.
I told you to check, dude
Yeah, AFTER I checked my bag and I was already sitting on a plane. Oh well. I figured worst case I'd do like 15 hours in county and I was totally prepared for that anyways. I always prepare for that when we hang out.
He's basically me if I was an 8-yr-old boy. It's like looking into a pudgy terrifying mirror
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
I'm definitely closer to having sex in every building on campus than I am to having a post-graduation career/plan/future. Unless that future is getting fucked in lots of buildings. I got that shit on lock down.
I got arrested in a leprechaun onesie
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