He's been sleeping iwht ***
Nooo
Yeah I don't even know how, she looks like her mom smoked crack while she was in the womb
And then hit her in the face with a shovel
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
It was like doing yoga with his dick in me
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
He dated me before I started drinking. I feel like he deserves a consolation bj for all the effort he had to put in to get in my pants.
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
I found three vicadin and a pint of fireball with the note. In case of emergency drink me under their sink.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Well, I just bought plan b with the tips I made from the job that I slept with my manager. So yeah, that's my life. How's yours?
My girlfriend is talking to my ex-boyfriend at the bar right now. I REPEAT, GIRLFRIEND IS TALKING TO EX BOYFRIEND RIGHT NOW. GET ME THE FUCK OUT OF THIS PLAACE
Our relationship is perfect
90% threatening to punch him in the dick 10% actual dickpunching
It's really life affirming to be at a wedding thinking wow I took your husbands virginity
last final went out with a bang.. 20 min late bra-less, cum in my hair and i still cant find my shoes.
Just stalked the girl I hooked up with last night's boyfriend. He seems nice, I approve.
Randomize
