Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Sad news: I might have to institute a "once-per-day" policy on getting trashed downtown. Sorry, reputation.
there is an extreme lack of margarita in my mouth.
my life is about to be the like the hunger games except with penises. and im going to win.
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
I'm not allowed to have sex with him again. My vagina joined in on the protest. There was a petition. All my body parts signed it.
Taylor Swift needs more songs about threesomes. I'm not sure she gets me anymore.
I apologize in advance for the amount of cleavage I'll be exposing your boyfriend to.
In other news, I woke up still drunk and I think I literally just broke the Guinness book of world records for most bloody Mary's in one day...
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
A girl just managed to steal a whole gallon of ice cream. I'm letting her go because that is impressive.
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
I'm just going to use my debit card. I feel bad buying pizza with the money I stole from my roommate...so I'm going to put it in my piggy bank.
Randomize