Crosby and Malkin: Two girls, one cup.
i cant even explain all the reasons why i dont want to fuck you right now.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
remember that guy i blew in a bathroom in barcelona, i just blew him again in rome. lightning does strike twice.
You peed on someones bathroom floor while saying people are rude for not flushing
If I pissed all over some chicks bed I would probably apologize for getting so wasted, not putting out, and turning into a god damn R. Kelly Cinderella... Not ask for coffee and a ride home.
The bouncer was just about to kick Sarah out for getting with this guy 'too physically'. I told him that was 'her style' and he let them stay. Banter.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
If you sleep with him again I'll have you spayed
My fucking earlobe is bruised what the hell
Emily saved me from being trapped on my roof and then I beat her in a race at 5am it was a low key night
Nothing like ripping open the box with your keys on a sat R train and throwing back the morning after pill with some coconut water on my way to work at a fitness studio for free
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
apparently i ended up downloading "thats amore", giving him head, and singing it... all at the same time
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