if you like me you must not know who I am
Did you see Brett Michaels get knocked on his ass?
Hurt me personally.
Knocked his cowboy hat off... Bandanna was still good though
It all came flooding back to me: there was a woman with one hand
sometimes i think i'm bisexual but then i realize the only girl i'm attracted to is myself.
he got promoted. that means i have now given my new boss chlaymida. i need a new job.
I said make yourselves at home, not to put a used condom on my ceiling fan.
there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.
his blanket is still in the back seat of my car, its like a constant reminder of his small penis
She just started grabbing all the hospital's rubber gloves and face masks and shoving them in her purse, saying, "My tax money paid for these!"
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
you stuck pieces of bread to your face with peanut butter and asked if it looked like you had a facial yeast infection.
ohhhh that's why they asked me to leave...
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
yeah it's a weird friendship. we pretend that we're automatic besties but i know we both know i slept with her boyfriend
i out mim tonsoeep
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