there hasn't been a girl guy ratio this good since a guy jumped on one of the Titanic life rafts
If burritos were dicks, we'd have a serious relationship problem on our hands. Just saying.
He said "I know I'm not gay. I fucked a guy once and didn't like it"
And "sexual slave/chef" was as it turns out not a real career choice...
I am literally hand feeding my crying ex boyfriend taco bell. What has my life become?
the two person party stopped when i realized that he tried to throw a hammer at my head.
We were just talking bout putting on helmets and going fo a car ride just to see how ppl react. I will def fit in here haha
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
Hi, my name is Ashslay and I'll be your designated shitshow.
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Blacked out and Irish exited last night. At dinner. On a Sunday.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
They left a cherry picker with the keys in it on a college campus, what else were we supposed to do?
Mass text: dear whatever jerk off who thinks they stole drugs from me. It was birth control. Go fuck yourself. And pray that I don't get pregnant.
Who puts their birth control in a bottle with a smiley face?!
Oh fuck wait
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
