I think I died a long time ago.
I'm glad girls dont get visible erections
But, it would have made life so much easier...
He just spent five minutes trying to sling shot a cheese-it off his dick and into my mouth.
Had a couple pieces of pizza for breakfast...suck on that Jamie Oliver.
every single one of us blacked out. we woke up the next morning and it was like the night never happened. IT'S STILL A MYSTERY
She went home with him because he works at Jimmy John's and his car "smelled like meat"
I'm drunk at a gay bar with my riding crop. God save the queens
Either I'm tripping balls or my dog has super powers.
Clearly it doesn't get better with age. Just more sexual
Met Dan at the park for lunch and the guy parked next to us was getting a BJ the entire time. Way to make me feel like an inadequate girlfriend, random park skank. All Dan got was a double cheeseburger and a large iced tea...
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
i told her i loved her afterwards and she said "i know," kissed me, and got up to start making breakfast.
dude, she han solo'd you. keep her.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
It must have been good head...he put down the Xbox controller
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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