Can Purell be used as lube?
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
We thought you were crowd-surfing until we realized it was the bouncers throwing you out
It's amazing I mean I blew that senator just for him to deny me marriage.... Politics suck and he swallowed!
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
I also turned off the Anchorman DVD start menu before cause I didn't want Will Ferrel watching me lose my virginity.
I was just doing the math on how much beer we need for the houseboat. in doing so, I came to the conclusion that we need to open a beer distributor business.
Is 1:30 too early for the bar?
Do you want my opinion or society's?
I want your company
The bartender had to walk me home last night. New high or new low?
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
i need to put some appletini on your dick
i have to vacuum my washing machine now, asshole
We've had gay sex and pie, the holiday season has officially begun.
Randomize
