Did we have sex?
No you put the condom on then passed out on the bed so I left
any advancement on the stomach flu vs. pregnancy scare of '10?
What part of "you pissed in the tent" do you not understand?
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
After this weekend, it looks come this holiday season I'll be walking in a winter abortionland.
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
No one would take shots with Caroline so she asked the bartender for like 20 jagerbombs and then shouted "JAGERBOMBS FOR HOMELESS ANIMALS BENEFIT" and everyone started doing them with her
He is the blood diamond of hook ups. You think you want it...but you don't
my roommate just said she thinks she got a flashback or some memory of me getting hit by a car.
I would bite a mans dick off for a chocolate milk.
so like what it comes down to is do I wanna look like a boss ass bitch or do I wanna masturbate.
He offered me my choice of the Abe Lincoln or Ben Franklin dick pic.
When do you estimate your next shower will be? Several people have asked.
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Randomize
