So im walking through ohare and this guy walks by with a cart full of big bottles of liquor. I want to know what flight hes on.
Just found my mom passed out in my bed holding a bag of wine. Not sure if I'm ashamed or proud.
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
I took a shit in your bathtub. Nothings off limits
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
Yup, two strangers look up at each other and realize the only connection they have is the dead woman they banged to death below them. Magic. They have to be best friends now.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
He fucked the hangover right out of me. That good.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
New drinking game get out your high school year book and take a shot for everyone in your class who's had a baby!
I knew she was the one when we had sex to the halo soundtrack.
Randomize
