I think I just got seasick
you're not on a boat
he has a waterbed.
A homeless man in dtwn SF was blasting lil wayne and singing at the top of his lungs. I kinda wanted to give him my life savings
Im at a strip club, and the dancer just farted into my face. The bad part about that is I could taste the wings I bought her earlier
Nick had a break down & said to me "Everybody's mad at me, I'm the douchebag, Im the fucking douchebag that everyone hates, Do you wanna come home with this douchebag?!"
You're going home with him aren't you?
I'll see ya in the morning when I leave his house
I wish i could call my weed and hear it ring. That's how i found my phone.
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
This guy randomly got in our taxi, and has now collapsed on the sofa anouncing that he's staying the night.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
He came for an unexpected visit and let's just say I shattered his illusion that girls don't watch porn
thanks for piggy backing me around for the rest of the night when I got too drunk to stand.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
Ya it was crazy the power went just as she was about orgasm and the vibrator got fried with the power surge
Randomize
