All I remember about walking back home was that I maced my shadow.
he said no sex till date three. i said the party was one, mcdonalds two and that i would take him with me to buy cigs for date three.
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
You are such a cockblock sometimes
You NEED a cockblock sometimes
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
He actually has his life put together though, during the date we walked by a shoppers drugmart where my friend and I once flashed a janitor and all I could wonder was how does he not see shit show written all over me?
So we just accidentally broke into a building from the third floor while carrying shovels. The security guards are still very confused
He put on a roller derby documentary. It was either bore myself to death watching that or take off my dress. He was very appreciative.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
The sorting hat of life was not kind to you.....
PokemonGo as navigation to get some at 5:13 AM. Life choices, yo.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Randomize
