apparently people get pissed when you take the bag of wine out of the franzia box and put it in your purse before leaving the party
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
Is it weird being in the house without any roommates?
Nah, just masturbating louder
His thanks his mom for not having an abortion at his wedding toast. I love frat weddings.
this speak and spell drinking game will be the death of us all.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
THE HALLOWEEN QUEST WILL BE PICS OF US IN OUR COSTUMES IN EXCHANGE FOR DICK PICS. IT HAS BEEN DECIDED.
I just used a thesaurus to write a sext...
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
Don't worry I sent a creepy stalker message to a guy I slept with 6 years ago, Sunday Funday rock bottom
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