Send those Picts to my email please. From last night
Ps thx for the porn on my phone
;) ur welcome
My dog fell asleep in his puke last night. He's only 5 weeks old and has more in common with my friends than I do.
Turns out, Windex will cut right through semen stains on a computer case.
So I went to have a snack...can you please tell me why there's a condom in the hummus?
I just wasted my iTunes Gift Card on a season pass for Hannah Montana. Bad decision?
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Nope, I'm sticking to passive aggressive punishments. Like mismatching his socks and cumming on his leather couch. OCD is so wonderful.
And now we should drink to that moment where you realize you didn't exactly think things through.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
idk about you, but when i sext i just hit em with the "yo lets bang" text
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
Randomize
