As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
I hope I don't blackout because this is awesome!
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
chasing schnapps with beer is a terrible idea. never been drunk at 3PM before. please help please please please please
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
you should give me head with plastic fangs in
You going to have to be more specific than the night we blew an 8ball off the toilet..
I would ask what did you do but I feel like who did you do is probably more appropriate
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
My black heart of coal cannot compete with your boiling crock pot of teddy bears, rainbows, 90s music, and the good candy you get from rich people on Halloween.
I'm sure he'll make the rejection quick and completely justified.
Headphones came off my phone same time as The Weeknd sang "Who's gonna fuck you like me?"...Everyone at work heard it.
I was totally going to fuck him and then his friend walked in brushing his teeth, whipped down his pants and started doing the windmill. Ultimate cock block
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
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