She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
I cant leave dude. theres a horse with a top hat on
filling out my bracket based on schools with ppl I've hooked up with
Well I knew we were drunk when I told you it was a good idea to shit in the ocean
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Guess who is playing his new drum set when his roommate gets home to teach her a lesson about binge drinking to the point of being taken to the emergency room?
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Dude. If I met a dinosaur right now. we'd totally be on the same page. Brainwaves and shit.
Quickly hiding the condom wrappers, ropes, and handcuffs right before the parents arrive to help with moving out? Priceless.
I had to ask my mom to look for my kegle ball...
I just saw a chick driving drinking a juice box smoking all while on the phone that is talent
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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