Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
I have come to the conclusion that if you don't fulfill your life ambitions you should go into porn
Whatever you do to me, stop, I found yet another blonde hair in my asshole.
What's the second line of that rhyme that starts "Vicodin before scotch...?"
Her exstacy made her nickname everyone David. Nobody knows who the fuck she's talking to so we just say no to everything she says. She's crying.
Dude you were sitting on a bench on the street with her for 45 minutes thinking you were on the bus
i’m not very adjusted to having free time. for example, I forgot how much fun it is to masturbate.
My phone keeps autocorrecting to the "st. Natty's Day Parade" and I'm completely okay with that
And I don't know if this is really ESP, or just a crazy feeling, but I'm pretty sure he has an std. Or at least a cold.
There is a doctor sitting next to me at lunch talking about the engorged scrotum surgery he did this morning and I am about to lose my professional grown adult facade.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
There's a lady rapping at me about making healthy food choices. She lives in a refrigerator. This is not okay with me
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