So I have to go swallow an entire zebra. Ur on ur own girl.
i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
how do you tell a roommate that having sex on your bottom bunk is not appropriate even if she has a top bunk that's hard to climb to?
I apparently took a 45 minute shower, and became best friends with his mom.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I listened to the last 10 minutes of that 20 minute voicemail, it's solid gold. At one point he literally suggests we buy tasers and go around shooting people.
amateur piercings on our way to the beach? check.
I have got to stop assigning last names to girls I get numbers from based on what I think will remind me of them... Sarah Petrydish is not an acceptable memory trigger
DIN'T JUSGE NE.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
That's not a current picture, because if you look deep enough into my eyes you can still see morals. Not these days.
she's p upset bro
Where is he. I have a sword.
Sabotage it. Cum quick. Make it awkward so you don't hurt her feelings. Who says nice guys finish last?
Its mothers day... Can my present be an orgasm...for once?
Randomize
