Being 21 is my favorite hobby I'm really good at it
I'm so over stopping myself from talking about my sexual experiences in front of children.
we just toasted to your mouth on alex's balls at the bar
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
while we were dancing I voluntarily took my bra off and hung it around his neck as a necklace. 2011 lets go
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
I JUST MET THE GIANT MAN THAT WILL CARRY ME FROM PLACE TO PLACE
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
His last name was woodcox? That just screams I've got a great penis
I think the reason she hasn't text me back is because I spanked her ass with Hulk Hands
Do you ever have one of those days when your breasts are just fucking awesome?
yeah. i tried to refuse to leave unless the burger king himself escorted me out. that didnt fly
I know you can't find me. Somehow I ended up on the roof smoking a cig with the strippers that are on break. Way too drunk to deal with this right now.
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
Randomize
