didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
first time Ive ever had to stop sex to go pass out in the kitchen floor...
Tell mom and/or dad that I am going to be home late. I am really blazed. Don't tell them that part, though.
Charging the asians next door to us $5 a page to print their final papers because theirs broke. Bars close in 2 hours, lets go
Had sex to a Lionel Richie song. I have a feeling I was conceived to it. Finally reached full circle.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
Using a joint as a bookmark. What is my life?
You threw up on yourself mid conversation with your mom and then told her a girl at the party puked on you.
I just had to call my mom to come pick me up stoned at a Lana's house and beg her to buy me Taco Bell. I'm graduating from college in 14 hours. Fuck
Couldn't find my swimsuit top anywhere this morning but finally found it in the skimmer of the pool so thats how my night apparently went
To shove my foot up anybody ass who tries to start shit. I'm not takin shit this year. That and I wanna volunteer somewhere to help make a difference
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
you bounced a quarter off my butt and it came back hitting you in the eye. karma, bitch.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
Randomize
