I dont kno what was worse. Waking up 2 a guy next to me thinking I got blackout or realizing it was your boyfriend.
i would think by now you'd realize that my penis does whatever the fuck it wants and i have no control over the situation
Just looking for some anal play. An attempting to read atonement. The highbrow/lowbrow divide is striking.
this is really not the time to pretend we have morals
Can we go to Home Depot next week? Drunk Kim broke my toilet with a hammer.
I found him passed out against a dryer in the girls washroom, in front of an old woman was trying to figure out how to dry her hands.
I'm gonna tie him up and fart in that pathetic excuse for a mustache
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
She knew the head wasn't all that so she gave me her taco. I'm will in to give her a second chance.
Please don't throw the wedding bouquet at me
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
i now know why i keep getting pictures of poop. apparently someone put my number in a girls bathroom saying i am a poop lover.
you text any of them back? this is probably the most women you'll ever have texting you in your life. don't squander a good thing
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
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