Sorry, its so late. Remember your fat friend with huge boobs. i need her number..its an emergency
He saved me in his phone as Easy Jen. Should I be offended?
I wouldn't worry about it. He has me as "Sex Puppet."
id tell you what to do, but my morals dont exactly scream, "Listen to this guy!"
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
So dude, she and I just got done having the most amazing sex, and then she rolled over and said that "lets make some tacos" and proceeded to the kitchen... naked... I'm buying the ring tomorrow
Even the French judge on the olympics would give that a 10
She tried to wake me up by touching my dick. I kept pretending to be asleep.
Just realized I have to keep sleeping with him... those scars from drunk sex on the 4th of July are still on my back and lord knows I'm not about to explain that to another guy.
Hungover like ... in bed with the Brita pitcher and a straw, only opening one eye at a time.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
My meds have diminished my sex drive, this must be what regular women feel like
Wtf man. I knew she was bad news. No sane person cares if you eat their raviolli.
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
I just traded sex to frolic with a box of husky puppies. Is this rock bottom?
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
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