If Jimminey Cricket were here with me he would be so disappointed.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
i need to know the scientific term for a guy's taint so i can explain what i did last night.
His bookmark is a piece of toilet paper. No shame there.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
this is terrible I feel like i'm trapped in a cage with a wild republican
After the first time we had sex he kept saying "I'm proud of you" over and over again
You got stoned and bought $300 worth of pudding. Again! Why do YOU think she left you?
after we got done having sex, you rolled over and ask what your yelp review was. So yea I'm kinda mad.
I literally have a pirate chest of slutty clothing.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
