I'm scared
There's nothing to be scared of. My penis is average size.
That's what I'm afraid of
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
People kept wishing me happy birthday last night. apparently i was 21st birthday drunk
if you count grabbing my crotch as an introduction then yeah i got a couple of those tonight
She posted on her FB that he moved out...It's like she wants me to fuck him.
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
I can't remember much from that party after we snapchatted my dancing boobs to all of her contacts
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
and you fell through a lawn chair
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
yeah the highlight of my day was the 911 operator telling me they had frantically been trying to figure out where i was
Ik youre sleeping but fyi its 5:32am I'm sitting in the middle of the road bra less and shoeless with boxers in my hand and no ride. Shits real crazy.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
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