No one goes out in public like that, unless they do anal
was it good sex?
i mean it was good for how drunk we were. and for how big the closet was
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
We legitimately thought something was wrong with you until someone pointed out you were just doing the thriller dance
Just realized that St. Patty's is on a Saturday this year in case you were interested in coming to New York and redefining bender with me.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
my make-up looks really good tonight. I swear it had nothing to do with me finishing all of your strawberry vodka.
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
And the next morning he asked me why I had clothes on so I said so that he could take them off again.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
I'm pretty sure your ex of four years just had a baby with some kid and named it after you...
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
Drank vodka clubs for 6 hours last night. Holy shit just realized that.
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
Randomize