i was drunk at family dinner telling about my gay brothers sex ads on criags list
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
FOR A FUCKING 40?! A FUCKING 40?! YOU GAVE THE CAT AWAY FOR BEER?!
but there are maragaritas for $3 so that was all i needed to hear
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
pretty sure I offered to blow her dad. she's not speaking to me & he won't stop winking at me.
She bellyflopped onto the poolside bar, broke one wine bottle, and stole another...the resort staff just frowned and cleaned up her mess.
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Just had to find a way to explain to the border patrol that we were coming into canada "for about a half hour to have one last under 21 drink before kendals birthday at midnight." He said ok and told us where the closest bar was. Nice man.
The only thing stopping me from having sex with you in my parents jacuzzi bathtub is the knowledge that they've already had that idea themselves
Not only did I get beyond cray cray this weekend. My body has nursed itself to plentiful and impeccable health. Fuck you world, I am back.
I'm getting a collar when he gets back in to town! That's like the bdsm equivalent of getting his class ring!
Yet he continued to eat cereal out of the glove compartment in my car.
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
DO NOT TOUCH THE SOAP ITS HAD SOME UNORTHODOX USES WITHIN THE PAST 15 HOURS
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