You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
Laughlin, where retired strippers come to die.
Just spun two beer bottles and Placed them in my pockets perfect... I feel like the clint eastwood of drunks
bad: friday night i tripped and fell outside my dorm. worse: i just found out i broke my ankle. worst: i was shitfaced and don't remember any of this.
Id love to say been there done that but im a slutty drunk not a stupid one.
And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I need your advice and before you say it, no, it cannot be solved by a blow job
You clearly don't understand the power you wield with your mouth.
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
He just compared himself to a majestic butterfly in regards to the lack of girlfriends. i don't even know what to say.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Sometimes I wish I could open my skin and just take a little peek at my liver. You know, just to see if it's rotten yet or still perfect looking.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
I want to die. Marc and I were making out in the hallway and fell into a fire hose in a glass case. It shattered everywhere. Everyone thought we fell out a window. I think I have glass in my back. Awesome.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
I'm tripping balls on ambien right now and I still feel that's a bad idea.
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