Discovered the secret to willingly attending my 3-o'clock class. Ahoy, Cap'n.
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
his receeding hairline makes running into him so much less awkward. almost enjoyable actualy
Just passed a Taco Bell Taco Supreme, still in its wrapper, laying in the grass. I'd like a moment of silence.
May it rest in peace.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
so I was at the house for 3min to grab my bathing suit & tequila. You know, the go-to weekend combination
So my OCD kicked in and I cleaned his kitchen. His roommates were so grateful, they tried to pay me in weed.
YOU ACCEPTED, RIGHT?
I'm sending you the three minute video I jus took,....it's of me eating a pear up close
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
Dude, putting on underwear straight out of the dryer is the greatest thing ever. It feels like I wrapped my vagina in a warm blanket.
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I screamed "You look like a guy I've fucked!" to your brother at a party... I have some explaining to do.
I just did a bump with my mom so I’d sober up for Black Friday shopping
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