I just had to sit down with an 11 year old who threatened to dick slap a girl.
Call me back. I want to hear your side of the dead cat in my garage story.
im in Michaels with rachel and i see a little boy jumping around and waving a rainbow pompom. Welcome to our team little one
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
You just kept screaming "You are no House!!!" at the ER doc trying to stitch your head
I already wrote the apology to my liver. He knows whats up
I just want to curl up with him and brush his hair and sing love songs together, I think you should come over and end this
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
I'm just learned what a rim job is, I feel like crying
I asked for my Beats earbuds back and he sent me a pic of them tied around his penis. Now I miss both my great ear buds and his great dick
Our prom king just sent me a dick pic. I know it's 10 years later but I feel like I've finally made it.
I'm at that point in my life where keeping an extra pair of underwear in my purse is normal.
So I ended the trip with two cold sores, poison ivy on my leg and vagina, and no alcohol or weed. WORST. 4TH. OF. JULY. EVER.
Randomize
