Two girls are now jumping in the ocean naked at 10 PM...and I was just starting to hate Ocean City
She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
Having sex with her is like doing taxes, Happens once a year and I usually end up paying.
i just saw some one pass a baby through the drive-thru window at dairy queen.
He said he got a lot of action last night. I asked how much? And he said he got to see down her shirt. Freshmen never cease to amaze me.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
She told me she was eating frosting, then I got the weirdest boner ever
Wait. Wine + Crossbow..?
She's in the bathroom. Literally just told me she could make a guy cum using just her words. Not bad for Sunday brunch.
90 seconds of pumping and 2 months of bragging all summer. So much for my reputation here.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Call it slutty but I take pride in being a first round draft pick booty call. And I know I was first cause he texted me at 1030a
I drank a fishbowl of liquor and next thing I know I'm sliding into Zach Galifinakis' DMs
ONE DAY CAN WE PLEASE HAVE SECRET SEX. PREFERABLY IN AN ANCIENT PYRAMID BUT I'M NOT OPPOSED TO A 4 STAR HOTEL
Randomize
